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NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED
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 Post subject: Re: COSY CHUCKLES JOKE THREAD
PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2020 2:20 pm 
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Person of Interest

Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:32 pm
Posts: 5372
Oh Boy! My joke really knocked them dead!


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 Post subject: Re: COSY CHUCKLES JOKE THREAD
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 10:21 pm 
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Mrs Pepper

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:12 am
Posts: 27850
cosy,m wrote:
i asked my surgeon if i could administer my own anesthetic
he said "sure knock yourself out"

after that i went to the tailors and told him i didnt need his help
he said "fine suit yourself"

my nxt door neighbour died yesterday due to his obsession of taking photos of himself nxt to a boiling kettle

police beleive he had serious selfie steam issues

finally
wow i got so drunk last night
i had a fight with my mop
i wiped the floor with it.

Liked them [rofl02.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: COSY CHUCKLES JOKE THREAD
PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2021 4:42 pm 
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Dubbs
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Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 5:18 pm
Posts: 8998
I love this thread.

Dad jokes always make me giggle.

Keep up the good work cosy :thumbsup:


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 Post subject: Re: COSY CHUCKLES JOKE THREAD
PostPosted: Tue Jan 19, 2021 4:52 pm 
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King cosy
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Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:16 pm
Posts: 27921
Location: maine road
anyway its about time i introduced you to my new gf danielle
but i call her dagsy
ive mentioned her before on the stupid thread
she asked me this
dags"do i look fat in these new jeans"
me"im not answering that"
dags "go on tell me the truth"
me "ok promise me you wont get upset whatever i say"
dags "promise"
me "ok i fckd your sister last week"

i felt a bit guilty about telling her that
so i bought her a new fridge
her face lit up when she opened it



i was a bit bored the other day so i swapped the wrappers of all her chocs in her box of celebrations
she got her snickers in a right twix


she said to me "shall i feed archie" i said "yeh"
dags "have you seen the dog bowl"
i said " i didnt even know he could play cricket"

mind you shes better than my ex
god doa could tell some stories
he told me when he was about 14
a gas man knocked on his door
doa opens it dressed in a wig,basque,sussies,full make up a glass of brandy and a spliff the size of a cornetto
the gas man asked if hes mum or dad was in
he said does it fckn look like it.

finally bit of sad news for certy
he rang me last night to tell me his wife and daughter were leaving him cos of his obsession for horse racing
i said really
he said yeh they are at the gate now and theyre off

i said aah i had a similiar thing with my ex wife a few years back
she divorced me for my obsession with cats
i couldnt beleive it when she kicked meeeooowwwt

ok back tomorrow bye.

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its only the dead who dont,is it cos they cant or is it cos they wont?


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 Post subject: Re: COSY CHUCKLES JOKE THREAD
PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2021 11:20 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2019 7:01 pm
Posts: 825
[eng1.gif]

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