It is currently Thu Feb 27, 2020 7:52 am

All times are UTC [ DST ]

Post new topic Reply to topic  Page 1 of 2
 [ 12 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Nativities
PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:47 pm 
cont. on page 273. . . .

Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2014 3:01 pm
Posts: 4792
The Black Country Nativity

(only Black Country folk will able to read this)

Mary, er babby an a bostin tale

Thee'a wos a wench nairmed Mary and er lived in a plairce called Nazareth. One day er mum went out an er was left do do the ousewerk.

All a sudden the room went all bright and when er turned round er saw somebody stondin by the winda. Er wor arf surprised and nearly fell off er cheer.

“Oom you?” er asked, “yo day arf gie me a tern.”

“Doh be scared,” answered the bloke. “I wo urt ya. Me name’s Gabriel, an arm an angel.”

“Yo ay, am yer?” said Mary.

“I am,” ee replied. “An I’ve cum to tell ya summat.

“What?” said Mary, cause er was thinking what a carry on this was.

Yo’m gooin ter av a babby.”

That shook er, and er looked at im an said: “Doh be saft. I ay marrid.”

“That do mek no difference,” ee answered. “If God says yo’ll av a babby, yo’ll ava a babby, yo will an that’s it. Yo’ve got ter call im Jesus.”

Mary was still a bit shook, so the angel said: “An arl tell yer summat else. Yo ay the only one oos gooin to ave a babby. Yer cousin Elizabeth is gooin ter ave one an all, an er’s an old woman.”

“Well, if you say so, ar suppose that’s it,” said Mary. “Me chap wo arf be surprised.”

When eed gone, Mary med up er mind to goo and see Elizabeth an went off ter Juda.

Elizabeth was waiting at the gate an when er saw Mary er said: “Ar ay arf glad to see yo, but fancy yo cummin to see we in yor state.”

Mary answered: “An angel cum an sid me, an arm gooin to av a babby in December.”

Elizabeth told Mary that er old man, Zacharias, day believe er when er told him about the babby, an ee were speechless.

“Ee cor spake a werd now,” er said.

The chap what Mary was engaged to was called Joseph. When Mary told im about the babby er was having, ee day know what to think.

Ee said: “Yor mum wo arf kick up a chow row.”

Any road, ee day get is air off, an when ee went ter bed that night, an angel cum to im in a dream. “Doh get mad at Mary about the babby,” ee told im.

“It’s God’s son er’s avin, an is name’s Jesus. Sumbody’s got ter av im, or ee wo get born, an yower Mary was picked.

“So just yo marry er, me mate. There ay nuthin ter worry about.”

Soon after they was married, Joseph cum in an told Mary: “Arv ad a letter from the tax mon, and that Ceasar says as we’ve got to goo to wheer we was born to be taxed. So we’ve go to traipse all the way to Bethlehem next wick.”

Mary cut sum sandwiches an packed a few cairkes an opples.

Then er med a bottle a tay, an when they’d ad a daysent breakfast, Joseph got the donkey out, put Mary on, an away they went.

“Cheer up, our kid. It ay far now,” Joseph told er.

“We’ll soon av a rest. I keep gettin bricks an sond in me sandals.”

When they got into town, Joseph knocked on the door of an inn an asked for a double room.

The bloke what answered said: “I cor elp yer. There’s that mony on em eere they’m avin ter sleep in the passage.”

The next un was like it an all, but Joseph said to the chap: “Ain’t there anywhere we can goo? My missus is out theer on a donkey, an er’s gooin ter av a babby soon.”

The chap scratched his yed and said: “We cleaned the stable out after tay, so it ay mucky. If I shift a couple of osses an a camel, you could kip down theer.”

“We’ll tek it,” said Joseph, straight off.

In the noight, Mary woke Joseph up an said: “The babby’s ere.” So Jesus was born, an they wrapped im up tight an put im in the manger what the osses et out on. Mary an Joseph wor arf proud. The innkeeper cum with is missus an brought Mary sum ot milk.

They thought Jesus was a bostin little lad an the innkeeper said to Joseph: “Yo’d better cum an av a drink to wet is yed.” So he did.

Up in the ills, there was sum shepherds luckin after the sheep. It was cold, so they was sittin by the fire lettin their dogs do the werk while they ad summat to eat an a smoke.

Suddenly the sky lit up loike bonfire noight, an an angel cum. They day know owt about angels and they was that frittened they all fell on the ground.

“Yo’m a silly lot,” said the angel. “I shore urt yer. I got a message for yer.

“There’s a baby bin born in Bethlehem. Is name is Jesus an ees God’s son. Goo an ave a look at im. Ee’s in a stable lyin in a manger.”

Any road up, they cum down the ill into Bethlehem. One said: “It’s or roight im sayin we’ll find the babby in a stable, but they’m all over the plairce. We cud be looking for wicks.” Then they eard their mate’s whistle an they fun em outside a stable built in a cave. Someone whispered: “Doh mek such a clatter. We’m ere.” One knocked on the door and Mary called: “Come in.”

They took off their ats an went in on tip toe.

The chief shepherd said: “Adoo missus. A angel tode we ter cum an see yower babby.”

Mary smiled and beckoned them in. Joseph said: “Eere ee is. Cum an look, but mind you doh breathe on is face.”

The shepherds knelt down round the manger an looked. “Ay ee tiny?” said the youngest. “An ay ee got little onds?”

“Course ee’s tiny, yo saft ayporth,” said the leader, “ee’s new, ay ee?”

“I know that,” said the young un, “but you cor imagine God bein little, can yer?”

Mary smiled an said: “Oil spin sum wool an knit im a jumper, an is dad’ll play the flute ter mek him sleep.”

The shepherds turned to goo, an little Jesus smiled. The leader said after as it wind, an all babbies did it, but ee wor as sure as ee med out.

While all this was a-gooin on, three wise kings was in a country far away lookin at stars.

Suddenly, one on em put down is telescope an called: “Cum eer yo lot. Oi’ve fun a star wot wor theer afore, and it ay arf a big un.”

“Yo’m roight mate,” they said then they looked. “Oil bet it’s that one what’s to tell us a new king was born.” They checked up an it was.

One day, they cum to Jerusalem an went up to the Palace an knocked on the door. A sentry opened it an they asked: “Is the King in?”

The sentry said: “Arf a mo, Oil goo an see.”

The King’s name was Erod, an ee was in.

“There’s three kings to see yo,” the soldier told im. “Oh ar?” said Erod. “Weer?” Ee ad a fit when the soldier told im “Outside.”

“Yo cor leave kings standin on the step,” said Erod. “Get em in.”

So they all come in, an Erod said ow noice to see em an wot cud ee do fer emn. They said they was looking fer a new king, and wondered if ee was theer.

Erod said: “Ee ay ere, but when yo’ve fun im, drop in on the way back so’s Oi can goo anay a look meself.”

They said “Righto,” an off they went.

When they’d gone, Erod said to isself: “Theer’s ony room fer one king ere, an Oi’m it. When Oi know weer the new un is, Oi’ll have im killed.”

The star stopped over the ouse where Jesus was, an the kings day worry cos it wor a Palace. They went in an knelt down by Jesus an gid him their gold, frankincense and myrhh.

Mary looked at the presents an said: “Thank yo, they’m smashin, but Oi’ll keep em till ee’s bigger, if yo doh moind.”

The kings took off their crowns and bowed.

Then they said: “Tarrah abit,” an went all the way back wum.

But they day goo back past Erod’s palace cos a angel ad told em what a awful bloke Erod was, an ow ee wanted to kill the little Jesus.

Like and share (Translate it for the brummies ;) and posh folk)

Written by Michael Prescott in 1968

 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:47 pm 
cont. on page 273. . . .

Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2014 3:01 pm
Posts: 4792
Add yer own!

 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 11:06 pm 
<the fluze>

Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 9:33 pm
Posts: 45493
I just read that out loud!


 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 11:26 pm 
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2012 5:21 pm
Posts: 19524
Location: Valhöll
They’d struggle to find three wise men and a virgin in Birmingham... [adrian.gif]

Don't like me... that's a shame

I'll need a moment to recover from the tragedy..

 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 11:26 pm 
<the fluze>

Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 9:33 pm
Posts: 45493
tiggy wrote:
They’d struggle to find three wise men and a virgin in Birmingham... [adrian.gif]



 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 11:46 pm 
Silent Assassin

Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:45 pm
Posts: 13387
Location: Somewhere in Middle England
Birmingham isn't black country [spank.gif]

 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 12:24 am 
Ice Maiden
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:46 pm
Posts: 40697
Read that Amber.... the familiar favorite in my language.....Newfinese.

Twas d'night afore Christmas in Newfoundland....

Twas d'night afore Christmas
Down 'ere in Newfoundland
An' dere was h'ice an' big snowdrifts
A plenty on 'and.
Wit d'kids all a sleepin'
H'up stairs in d'loft
An' Mudder in d'kitchen
Cooking' h'up a big scoff.
Den I was a cuttin'
Some splits fer d'stove
An' Mudder was bakin' some bread -
Jus' four loaves
Wit' peas pudding' an' cabbage
Some spuds an' carn beef
Jus' tinkin' bout it
Sure t'will be a fine feast.
Den down be d'warf
Dere arose some big clatter,
I t'ought dat Garge Murphy
Fell h'off d'flake ladder.
I runs to d'door
Like d'clap of a bell
Caught me toe in da rug...
An' be Jesus, I fell.
H'as I gawked in d'garden
And h'out on d'bay
B'y d'cat got me tongue
I 'ad nuttin' t'say.
I t'ought t'meself
Screech is alright
But a little too much
Will muck up yer sight.
H'as me h'eyes came h'accustomed
To d'wind h'an d'snow
Is dis what 'tis like
When yer mind starts t'go?
I t'ought fer d'minit
Dat me noggin' come loose
But dere was a punt
Pulled by eight hardy moose.
An' a fat little skipper
Wit a h'oar in 'ee's 'and
'Ee was scullin' d'punt
From d' h'ice to d'land.
Den h'up tru d'garden
D'punt, she fair came
An' I 'eard d'red skipper
Call each moose by name...
Now move along Brian
an' John an' Bill.
Get h'up dere Mulrooney
To d'top of d'ill
An den 'ee 'ollered
To d'ones in d'front
Now Jerry and' Neil
Keep pullin' dis punt!
To d'top of d'shed
An' den h'onto d'roofs
You could tell dey was h'up dere
By d'sound of d'oofs.
Den h'over d'loft
Dere rose such a clatter
An' I t'ought what might happen
H'if dem moose was much fatter!
I was feared fer a second
D'shingles might peel
From d'scrapin'an' scratchin'
Of d'big punt's keel.
Den down tru d'chimley
D' h'ole skipper 'ee came...
An' of course it was Santa-
To use 'ee's right name.
Den h'out in d'front room
A black cloud arose
D'soot looked like spume
>From a whale when she blows.
'Ee stood fer a minit
To size h'up d'place
Wit black soot an' h'ashes
All h'over 'ee's face.
I t'ought to meself
H'as I gawked at d'man
What fine sealskin mittens
'Ee 'ad on ee's 'ands.
An' glossy new gumboots
To cover 'ee's feet
I couldn't imagine
'Ow 'ee kept 'em so neat.
'Ee 'ad a sou'wester who's colour was red
An' dis 'ee 'ad perched on d'back of 'ee's 'ead
Wit' dem fine red h'oil skins like I never saw afore
Dat fitted too tight an' reached down to d'floor.
'Ee's face it was worn
An' weathered an' wrinkles
But 'ee's sparklin' blue h'eyes'
Still 'eld to der twinkle.
An' now when I looked
I saw naught but 'ee's back
H'as 'ee wrestled and juggles
D'gifts in 'ee's sack.
Den to d'mantle
H'as 'ee lifted d'sox
H'apples and h'ranges
An' small toys in a box.
'Ee topped h'off each one
Fer d'garls h'an' d'b'ys
Wit' a small bag of bulls eyes
An' small wooden toys.
'Ee looked so 'appy
An' jolly an' fine
H'as 'ee took a great gulp
Of dogberry wine.
'Ee tasted d'fruit cake and den figgy duff
Den 'ee spoke to 'eeself'
"Dis sure is fine stuff!"
'Ee tied h'up d'sack
Wit' a big granny knot
Den rested 'ee's 'ands
On d'top of 'ee's pot.
Now to d'chimley
'Ee went wit a dash
H'as ee's h'eyes crossed d'room
Wit' a flicker an' flash.
Now sure I must say
Dat 'ee cut a fine figger
H'as 'ee slipped h'up d'chimley
Like a bright squid jigger.
'Ee walked cross d'roof
Back to d'front
An' I feared 'ee might slip
H'as 'ee got in d'punt.
D'house gave a shake
>From d'roof to d'floor
H'as Santa took charge
Of d'big scullin' h'oar.
Den down tru d'garden
An' h'onto d'bay
Midst d'clammer of 'oofs
I 'eard 'im say:
'Tis another year gone
God Bless you an' yours
May 'ee grant you...
As you bend at d'oars.


Bonnie Hickey

Sarcasm is always at someone's expense.

 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 12:42 am 
cont. on page 273. . . .

Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2014 3:01 pm
Posts: 4792
Fab Vee!

 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 12:45 am 
Mrs Pepper

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:12 am
Posts: 27816
I recall the Black Country very fondly.
A week in Dudley for work, with very pleasant evenings :biggrin:

 Post subject: Re: Nativities
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:08 pm 
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:08 pm
Posts: 7461
Hahahaha...nice....I could hear them both as I read them!

Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  Page 1 of 2
 [ 12 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC [ DST ]

Who is online

Registered users: Google [Bot]

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Chronicles phpBB2 theme by Jakob Persson. Stone textures by Patty Herford.
With special thanks to RuneVillage

Templatesdragon  styles collection