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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 12:53 am 
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More like a 1.1 yellow inflatable duck! [giggle.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 11:25 pm 
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After a short telephone call today.......using a ton of 4 letter words :shock:
I'm now paying for a fully finished canal boat with extra's :crying:

Time to turn on my cam and shake my money maker [bootyshake.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 12:11 am 
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So now you are buying two boats? [confused1.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 1:16 am 
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Yea :crying:

The conversation was:

Me: elooooOOOOOoo
Her: Is that you tw*t?
Me: Maybe
Her Why are you only ordering a fcuking hull tw*t?
Me: Cos they want a ton of cash to fit it out.
Her: You cheap fcuker !!
Me: but.... its 50k
Her: No buts, have you ever fitted one out before or are you pissing up by back?
Me: No, but my carpenters and electricians know there stuff !!!
Her: Have they done it before or are they tw*ts like you !!!
Me: No, but ..
Her: I TOLD YOU NO fcuking BUTS !!!!
Me: It's a lot of money
Her: I dont fcuking care how much fcuking money is, I WANT A BOAT THAT WORKS !!!
Me: Are you going to chip in?

At this point there a deadly silence

Me: Are you still there?
Her: Yes
Me: Are you going to put a bit of cash in?
Her: No I'm fcuking not and stop asking, it's your fcuking boat tw*t
Me: errrr but I don't want it
Her: Just order the fcuking boat and stop being a tw*t !!!!!

And this point the phone is slam down at her end

So I'm buying this boat now... new :blush:


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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 11:43 am 
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Right. Now we all know what a mean sod you are so...…………...Don't go fitting a mast.
And when they ban the diesel next year, you can try rowing, like you do with your sister!
[eusa_naughty.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 1:14 pm 
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It will be an hybrid [eng1.gif]

See:

http://www.hybrid-marine.co.uk/14.html

And I'm not being cheap :snooty:

I just don't want the thing and hate the running costs [9n5.gif]

I'm a great believer in buying a better product from the start to reduce lifetime costs. Unfortunately I can't escape the canal fees or mooring charges :crying:

And just like a car's need an MOT, canal boats need a valid Boat Safety Scheme (BSS) certificate :rolleyes:

It's a really bad idea to buy one unless you have a mooring or a house on a canal. The boat will spend 6 months of the year rusting away in marina unless I can find a hard standing for it. [spank.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 12:46 am 
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I suppose that if you keep on the move you can avoid parking charges?
That should keep you busy! 1956362r6lk147bwq.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 2:32 am 
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Look at the weather out there, would you want to be on a canal right now [smiley-finger007.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 11:41 am 
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I'd sooner have root canal work! :sickly:


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 Post subject: Re: The canal boat joke
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2019 12:08 am 
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I've been asked a few questions on this and I'm going to try and answer them.

What's the main difference between offshore sailing and canal boating?

Distance and cost.

On a canal boat traveling 20 miles per day is normal. All the time the engine is running and locks to do. Its painfully slow. If things break down, the boats pulled over and repaired. There is a break down service for them like the AA. It's more of a social hobby with its only community.

On a sailboat once you reach the open sea, the engine goes off. 100-200 miles per day is normal in good conditions. You need to know how to fix things on the boat. There is no real help until you reach a port if things go wrong. You either love it or hate it.

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